L and the others invited all of us backstage where we could all continue our conversational drinks without any interruption. The place resembled an old wine cellar, underground and characterized by walls of large medieval-looking stones. The feeling of antiquity was more or less shattered by the presence of three ordinary white tables with matching benches, which reminded me of the ones in my high school cafeteria. The guys gladly pointed out the huge refrigerator which was filled with beer, a few vodka bottles, more liquor and some orange juice. Not necessarily in the same quantities... I sat down at one of the tables together with two rather shy girls, L, and the 'Roadie of the Day'. It seemed that this young German lad had won some kind of contest and was rewarded with the honour of joining the band for a couple days on the road and working rather hard... The atmosphere in the backstage was soothing and I was feeling manic again. I gladly mixed myself and the two girls in my company some vodka cocktails. Although they were about my age they came across very green. Whilst I kept a conversation going with them I could feel L's eyes on me, as he was amazed by my spontaneous behaviour towards the girls. L had been aware of my contradiction concerning girls: the lack of girlfriends and skill to approach them on one hand but the desire to be able to be more intimate with them on the other. I ended up giving one of the girls relationship 'advice' while teaming up with L, but soon the girls had to leave. After their departure L said he had never seen me like this before, so spontaneous and chatty. My confidence was indeed at a particularly high level...
I was feeling completely at ease, being flirtatious with L but at the same time keeping my calm and playing a bit 'hard to get'. At one point I left him almost alone at the table and joined V's, just like that. Me and V had subtly been exchanging looks throughout the evening and when I noticed he was actually suffering from the pubertal attention of the slightly elder women I planted myself right next to him. I could sense he was glad he had someone else to talk to for a change and I saw him subtly turning away from the rest of the company. The next ten minutes we talked and laughed about many silly things and we got along extremely well without any effort. And then he asked me a question that has been worn out by many musicians before: "Would you help me carry some things to the bus?".
He handed me a small, practically weightless, plastic bag and we headed outside. Unfortunately, after only being in the lounge for a mere five minutes, there were people coming on the bus informing us they were getting ready to hit the road. Soon everyone got on the bus. L and V got comfy in their bunks, one on each side of the bus. I was hanging in the middle together with the Roadie of the Day while sipping what was left of the cocktail I had brought on board. The four of us just hung out there for a bit until L suddenly remarked I might as well join V in his bunk... "Yeah, why not? There's room enough for the both of us..." V responded with a friendly smile. And so I crawled in...
We closed the small yellow curtains which were the only thing giving us some privacy. It was the first time I actually lay in such a bunk and it was exactly as I imagined it would be: small. Of course this only encouraged us to get close to each other. As it was almost pitch black in the tiny cabin our lips searched for each other. The darkness only enhanced the intenseness of the act. Though I couldn't see him I could feel his warm breath on me as he made passionate love to me. This was exactly how it felt, like real passionate love-making... It was exciting yet gentle and slow, and almost as if it were very meaningful. I can really only describe him as a gentle lover, delivering a perfect balance between tense nervousness and downright passion. Being totally focused on what was happening on our side of those tiny curtains I almost forgot the people on the other side... I was quickly reminded of this when V was groping outside his bunk in search for a condom. "What do you need man?" L said, and he handed V his little red handbag. As I enjoyed V's passion so badly I couldn't help it making some noise from time to time. Meanwhile L and the ROTD had heard everything and at one point L said something to him like: "I bet you have never experienced such a thing before..." I couldn't agree more...
Though the environment wasn't really suitable for it we went through the whole process, all but rushed and completed by the afterglow. Afterwards we got our clothes back on, opened the curtains and continued the mingling with the others, almost like nothing had happened. I was happy to see that S had joined L and the ROTD and he invited me in his bunk for some beer and music. I basically crawled from one bunk into the other... S is the one you can always have fun with, he's practically always making funny remarks and he's usually wasted. I called his one the 'party-bunk' as it differed from the others by the bottles of beer that were stashed under his pillow. We actually ended up having a really good talk but in the end he still tried to have his way with me as well... This felt like more than I could handle and I realized I longed for V's bunk again so I crawled out and got back in there with V. "You haven't done anything with S, have you?" he asked me. I was glad I could say no and I could lay in his strong arms again and feel his soft lips on mine...
As I drifted away to 'Never Never Land' suddenly the engine of the bus started and I was wide awake. We jumped out of the bunk and V helped me get all of my stuff. He escorted me outside and gave me one last passionate goodnight kiss. I was waiting for the gates to open so that I could commence the cold and lonely journey back to the station when S, the tour manager and the main roadie came out. While keeping me company for a couple more minutes they tried to convince me to get back on the bus and train back home in the morning. S promised that he would take care of my train ticket. The bus was now leaving for real and after a lot of pulling back and forth I seized the day -or rather night- and gave in! I joined them in the front of the bus for another drink and as I felt the bus moving I said "I can't believe I'm doing this!". I had rarely felt this excited. I didn't really have a clue of where they were heading other than some other place in Germany, but I believed S when he told me not to worry. When I asked them how V would feel about this the tour manager said to me I had to do this for myself and not V.
As he had already gone to bed anyway and I shouldn't stay for him -sigh- I spent the night in S's bunk. Although I thought I had made it clear to him that there wasn't going to happen anything I had to slap his hand several times when he tried some stuff on me. After about ten minutes he gave up and soon he fell asleep. Being far too excited I couldn't get to sleep at all. The bus was very hot and the bunk was too small not to lay against each other. After hours of lying awake the bus finally stopped and I could hear some movement. I decided to get up as well and when I looked through the windows downstairs I figured that it was early morning. To my surprise we weren't at the venue yet. Instead we had stopped at some gas station somewhere in the middle of nowhere. It turned out we still had some more hours of driving ahead and I wondered how and when I was ever going to get back home again...
L was the one that had gotten up and I joined him for some orange juice. Like V he had already gone to bed when I got back on the bus before so he was quite surprised to see me. He said I had chosen the worst bunk to sleep in and I couldn't agree with him more -during the last hour S had started coughing a lot too... L recommended getting in V's bunk again. "He won't mind", he said, and so I went to V's bunk and asked if I could get in with him. He was of course confused at first but he really didn't mind having me in there again. I was so happy to lie in a comfortable bunk and with V's strong arms wrapped safely around me I finally fell asleep...
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