Me and L: the story continues

You all know the feeling. You just had an amazing time, did something crazy or something extraordinary happened to you and it all seems like a dream. But eventually you have to acknowledge the fact that it really happened and you have to get back to real life. So here's what happened after my incredible experience...

I'm a good liar, in fact I'm a very good liar. But when it comes to love and relationships I just have to tell the truth. Since this case felt so extreme, it turned out to be far too challenging and simply too obvious to keep it all from my boyfriend. Almost immediately when we got home from the concert the whole thing came out. How the conversation had progressed, how L had gotten closer, the things he had said to me,... Though I did let out to mention the details of the kissing... Well, it seemed like I had shared enough. He didn't have to know I was that into it, I wanted as little trouble as possible. He didn't get very angry and did his best to get over it. Little by little all of our friends got to hear what happened and that particular band had become a banned subject among friends whenever my boyfriend was present. It took a while before everyone had forgotten about the whole thing but eventually they did. Once in a while someone would still make a joke about it, and up until this day this still happens. It doesn't bug me, why would it... To be honest I don't have any regrets and above all it turned out to be one of the best things that happened to me so far.

Not telling my boyfriend, I kept in touch with L. About a year after the incident I finally broke up with my boyfriend. The relationship had gotten far to serious and I had felt trapped for over 6 months, always thinking about ways to get out. Of course there's only one way: it ain't pretty, it ain't nice, but no-one should ever postpone it! So after all those months of imagining our break-up I practically had the complete scenario in my head and I knew I had to go crazy.

Meanwhile I had started chatting with L again, and so the story continues... -without a boyfriend this time! L told me he was on promo-tour in Europe and asked me if we could do something together. I was excited as hell! I would actually be celebrating my high school graduation with a rockstar! But -sigh- as he found out about 2 weeks later he wasn't coming to my country after all. He would be in Paris instead. It was a huge disappointment...

Luckily the story ain't over yet!

Apparently, he wanted to see me so badly that he asked me to come to Paris with him. He would take care of all my travel expenses. A free trip to Paris, leaving the day of my very last high school examination... HELL YEAH! This was even better!

The day before my last exam I had trouble concentrating. My mind was completely occupied with L and Paris and eventually I gave up studying. The next morning I took one of the worst exams ever. Fortunately it didn't matter anyway, I still managed to graduate with great honour. And besides, nothing could've ruined my day! I don't think I've ever been so excited in my life. A few hours later I got off the train in Paris -Paris!Paris!Paris! It was a beautiful hot summer's day and I still had a few hours before I would meet L in the hotel lounge. I decided to take a walk in the city. Ecstatic as I was I pranced on the boulevards and I bought a bottle of Libertine absinthe at "la Fée Verte", which was the first specialized absinthe boutique ever.

Around 4p.m. I got to the hotel. I was sitting in the lounge, waiting for L who was doing some interviews somewhere in the city. I was really nervous, it had been quite some time since I had met him at the concert and I was wondering how we would be spending the many hours we had to ourselves. Suddenly they came in: L, the other guitarist and a few other people (probably from some magazine). He took me up to his room where we dropped off our bags. He had to do some more interviews in the hotel so I stayed in the room to rest for a bit. I listened to some music on my iPod and was laying on the bed. He had left some rock magazines on the bed with some articles about him and his band and I checked them out. Being pretty beat from the trip I tried to get some sleep...

*KNOCK KNOCK*

Only a few minutes after closing my eyes I heard someone knocking on the door. Them again, they had to do the rest of the interviews in the hotel room. I didn't mind, I was excited to witness yet another aspect of rockstar-life! One interviewer was really nervous, I felt sorry for him, poor guy, he probably never met one of his idols before... When they were done with all of the responsibilities we left the hotel -"we" being me, L and the other guitarist. We took the subway and after our first stop the other guitarist went his own way to go to his girlfriend, who apparently lived in the city. And thus the moment had arrived, I was finally alone with L again...

We went to see the Eiffel Tower -cheesy right? But I loved it! At that moment I probably wouldn't have mind enduring every cheesy-romantic thing that has been invented. It all felt a bit like a fairytale -oh I just love idealizing this stuff...I really shouldn't though... We lay next to each other on the green grass with some booze to accompany us. And while having a great view of the Eiffel Tower I lit a joint. Mmm, I don't think I'll ever forget that moment. We chatted about lots of things and lay there until it was completely dark. Afterwards we went to some Chinese restaurant and had a nice dinner, though L had numerous remarks about the food. Spoiled rockstars... Even the hotel room wasn't good enough for him! (it happened to be the nicest one I had ever been in...)



We headed back to the hotel and L took a shower while he let me listen to their new album, which wasn't even the finished version. The album wouldn't be in stores for another six months or so. Looking back at that moment it reminds me a lot of a section in Pamela Des Barres' "I'm with the band" when she listens to the new Led Zeppelin album in a hotel room together with Jimmy Page. Just as he had asked her to give some feedback, L asked to do the same and I was happy to do so. I told him I thought there were too many slow fragments in it and that the songs were simply too long. (After a few more listenings back home I had to adjust my opinion and it even became my favorite album). After the listening and my criticism L put on "Thriller" by Fall Out Boy - I don't think I have to tell you that this surprised me, coming from a power metal guitarist - but I really didn't give a damn about what music he put on. After all I still couldn't believe I was laying on a bed in a hotel room in the centre of Paris! L laid himself next to me and we talked some more. Then finally he kissed me. Soft and slow at first, but very nice and as he continued I could feel his warm hands on my body and it all got pretty intense (though there wasn't any penetration involved). The only thing that "bothered" me was that he was circumcised, there was absolutely nothing left to deal with and that seems to be something I tend to miss. Afterwards I pulled myself against him and rested my head on his chest. To my disappointment he just lay there, not putting his arm around be, not playing with my hair nor kissing me softly on the forehead. Just like that I fell back on the ground, bye bye fairytale...

I went to the bathroom to freshen up and put on my red satin nightie with lace on the sides -specially brought for the occasion of course. I thought I might as well make sure I looked pretty, hoping he would still get crazy about me. When I got back he didn't say anything either but I sure liked the look on his face when he noticed my garments. I crawled under the covers and we pretty much just lay there for a while before we fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up with a very bad hangover. I took a shower and we packed our belongings and went to the station where L had to catch his train. He kissed me goodbye, stepped on the escalator and a few seconds later he was gone... I still had an hour or three before my train arrived so I decided to make them count. I went back to the centre and had some breakfast outside a little bistrot. Feeling much better I felt like I could take on the whole world again! I grabbed my map and started my search for Père Lachaise, the well-known cemetery. I really didn't have much time left but I had a mission: I had to see Jim Morrison's grave before I went back home! I really had to hurry and when I finally got there I had just about fifteen minutes to look around, which is really sparse if you consider the size of the cemetery. But I was determined to find it and with The Doors accompanying me on my iPod I finally got there. I could only afford about five minutes of my time so I kneeled down and intensely listened to his music while trying to take all of the sacred place in me. I wouldn't ever want to forget that moment...

When my five minutes were over I hurried back to the railway station to catch my train and go homeward. I felt extremely satisfied and couldn't wait to tell everyone about my magical adventure.
My summer couldn't have begun any better!

Mr. X

I've already told you some of the stories of my past. Now I'd like to share a little bit of my present with you.

These past few weeks I've been attending some rehearsals of a new band a few of my friends play in. It's a really groovy reggae/ska band and I really love their sound. It's quite a generation-crossing band, 3 of them are in their 20's and the other 3 are already over 35. One of the latter is the lead singer and guitarist. During the past few weeks we've been chatting and I got to know him a bit better. It didn't take long for me to develop some feelings for him. But unfortunately there's a big catch to this gorgeous 38-year old man... Not only is he married, he has kids as well! Not two things I wish for in a man...

But as it turns out, he hasn't always been faithful to his wife. Although he has broader moral standings, they have a monogamous relationship. I've talked about this with him when he was with me last week. He came to pick me up to go to a concert of a band two of the other band members play in -the two friends I know. He told me his wife wouldn't want to have any sort of open relationship. He therefore reasons it's best for everyone if he slips once in a while and keeps his mouth shut. Not thé best solution if you ask me...

The past two weeks he made it obvious he wouldn't mind getting closer to me. At first my natural reaction was to hold back and just have a talk with him to begin with -which I described above. But this week I came to realize I couldn't stop thinking about him... My feelings started to overrule ratio and I longed for the next rehearsal, which was in fact today.

When I left tonight I felt a bit nervous, I guess you could call it love-sick... While getting off on that marvelous feeling I deeply enjoyed their music. They ended with a groovy reggae jam and I passionately enjoyed S's beautiful guitar solo. After the rehearsal I left with Mr. X and my two friends as usual. He dropped S. and T. off and we drove to my place. I asked him if he'd like to come in for a drink to which he agreed. "One drink". I got us two cold beers, put on some delightful Led Zeppelin and lit some candles to create a pleasant environment. He was laying on my bed and pulled me next to him with his strong hands. We started cuddling and it felt good to be in the arms of a real strong man -the guys I've been with before have always been slightly slender. He uttered silent moans when he pressed me tight against his body. We started kissing -to be honest he's not the best kisser I know but enjoyable nevertheless. I can always appreciate some variation...

We didn't go all the way but according to him I gave him the most miraculous blowjob he ever had. I made him come twice and he was beat. He couldn't stop telling me how good I was and he mentioned he wished I could tell his wife how I did what I did... I have to confess, that was maybe a bit too good for my ego...

We shared the after-sex-cigarette and snuggled for a while. Then he had to leave, he didn't want to be home too late, to beat any suspicion. I wished he could stay longer so I could lie in those strong arms for the rest of the night. But I couldn't blame him for leaving...

I don't know what the future will bring... I wonder if I'll start feeling guilty if this would happen more than once. I wonder if I'll feel more like "the other woman" than a groupie, though I don't think being a groupie to this man really satisfies me. I'm afraid I wouldn't want to share this gorgeous man, except with his wife of course, *sigh...

Me, L and the tour-bus

I'm going to make a huge jump from when I was 10 to when I was 16 and take you with me on my groupie-trip. The story starts off in the summer of 2006. I went to a festival and got to see one of my favorite metalbands from the first row for the very first time. The band was -and still is- a popular power metal band and they tour all over the world. I was really excited and really got into it with every fiber of my being. My boyfriend was standing somewhere behind me but at that point I couldn't care less about him. The world had stopped spinning and there was only me and the band. At the end of the show I caught a guitar pick from one of the guitarists, I don't remember which one -at that time I had yet to discover the magic that can happen between a musician and the audience. Unfortunately it was very hard to hold on to the pick, everyone near me tried to take it out of my hand and eventually a security guy who was watching the chaos took the matter in his hands and simply took the pick from all of us and gave it to a random chick. Just like that. I was furious, I knew I was the one that had caught it, it belonged to me, me, me! But it was too late... The whole thing had completely ruined my day, I had trouble enjoying the shows I watched after that and felt sad -all because of a stupid guitar pick!

When I got back home from the festival I still hadn't forgotten the whole pick-event and in my disappointment I searched the band's site for a way to contact them. I was in luck! At that time each bandmember's email was displayed on the site so I sent a message to each guitarist telling them the story of the guitar pick while trying to present myself as 'enjoyable' as I could. Apparently my efforts had paid off 'cause a few days later I received a reply from one of the guitarists telling me we could meet when they'd be back for the next tour.

A few months later I went to their concert with my boyfriend and some friends. The guitarist -let's call him "L" from now on- sent me a text telling me I could meet him before the show and he would meet me at the tour-bus in a few minutes. So I left my friends at the warm-up show, went to the bus and waited. He'd be right there... I was nervous as hell! When he showed up and greeted me it felt kinda weird. I immediately regretted putting on heels when I saw he wasn't very tall. The second thing that hit me was the British accent, ahh lovely! When a guy plays guitar ánd has a British accent he "tops my charts"! We got on the bus and he started off by giving me a little "tour" on the tour-bus. I can remember this part vividly. You may have seen a tourbus in a documentary or on TV but to really know what it's like you'd have to get on one. It's the attempt to squeeze every room of a house in a bus, and -believe me- it's not the most pleasant way to live, but it's a great experience nevertheless. He said I could 'try his bunk' if I wanted, but I respectfully declined (ironically this felt like cheap idiotic groupie-shit I didn't want to participate in). We went to sit in the lounge and he offered me a drink. Then we talked about silly stuff, which was pretty much small talk to get to where he wanted to -and secretly where I wanted to end up too... He played with my hair and told me how much he wanted to kiss me. This was a shot I didn't want to miss. Boyfriend or not, I let him kiss me. It wasn't soft or cautious, it was more of a nice, firm "I want you here and now"-kiss and I liked it! When he didn't stop I figured he probably wanted to go further, even though he had to get on stage real soon. But apparently that thought was enough to make me feel guilty and I said:"Shouldn't you be getting ready by now?". He said he probably should and acted like a gentleman. In just a few seconds we were back outside. He went backstage and I went back to my friends, feeling really weird... The warm-up show was already over. I decided to say as little as possible about what had happened. Of course I had to say some things 'cause my friends were interested in the conversation I'd had with L so I told them the silly things we had talked about. I struggled, trying to act completely normal and look like nothing had happened. I couldn't help thinking that a few minutes earlier I was making out with this amazing guy on a tour-bus! When the concert started I was relieved I no longer had to talk about it. But of course there was still L... On stage and right in front of me, my friends AND MY BOYFRIEND!

We were standing at the second or third row and L and I had a lot of eye contact. I enjoyed it and my friends smiled at me when they saw us 'communicating'. At some point L and the other guitarist were goofing around and obviously pointing at me. My friends noticed this and I started to realise that it wouldn't be that far-fetched for them -and my boyfriend(!)- to think that there might have happened something on that bus. Suddenly I didn't feel so good and panicked. At some point I almost fainted, fortunately I got myself back together after a drink. But I couldn't look L in the eye anymore. The rest of the concert felt more or less like a torture. The whole evening was going through my mind together with all of the possible talks I would be having with my boyfriend if he would find out what had happened.

When the concert was finally over we went to get some drinks at the bar. It didn't take too long for the conversation to shift back to the whole "L and the tour-bus event". I said to my friends they could meet him. I was back to my normal self and managed to get all enthusiastic again, like I was before. I texted L and he'd be right out. When he came to us I introduced him to my friends and one of them began a conversation with him about martial arts. L acted very cool and it wasn't awkward. After about fifteen minutes he went to greet some more fans. We said goodbye and went home...

TO BE CONTINUED...

The Zorro experience

As promised, to begin this adventure with you guys, I will tell you the story of my very first meaningful encounter with a musician. Not much to my surprise he was a guitarist -ah, my favourite kind! I believe he was sort of a guest musician at a classical concert my parents dragged me to. The solo cellist of the orchestra was -and still is- a good friend of my parents. At that time, classical music and especially the -oh so boring- concerts my parents dragged me to weren't much of an interest to me. As a matter of fact I actually preferred playing video games and building camps in the forest with my best friend. So when I was running around in the venue after the concert was finished I wasn't expecting to bump into this gorgeous man with long dark locks. He was beautiful and exotic. As he excused him for bumping into me (it was of course my fault 'cause I was running around and not looking out) he smiled at me with his dark friendly eyes and I could see myself melting right in front of him, not knowing what to say. I'm sure my face was tomato red... He reminded me so much of Zorro (the real one, from the old series), which was my absolute childhood love. Everytime I had seen those dark eyes I melted right in front of the TV and in that exact same way I was melting in front of this guy with his guitar...Afterwards, I got a signed picture from him and uttered a shy, almost unhearable "thank you". I could barely look him in the eye. I held on to that picture and for many years it had hung on my wall next to my bed. I have no idea when, how and why I got rid of it but somehow I did, and up until this very moment -I'm not kidding- I had forgotten his name... Mike X.

Of course I googled him now that I remember his name but unfortunately there's not a lot of information on him. Here's a picture I found which resembles the vague image I have in my head. Also, according to what I could find he actually doesn't play the guitar, he plays the lute. But in the end I will always remember him as the man in that picture and the first 'guitarist' I had a crush on...

To give both of us an idea of what this blog will be about...

When I think about why I'm starting this blog I find that it is in fact quite simple. I want to share my thoughts and actions, my adventures as a young, exploring girl with the unknown, with the wide range of bloggers and followers of this -still pretty new- form of communication. And I hope this journal will also benefit me in the sense that it will help organize my thoughts, help me reflect on my own -and sometimes ridiculously stupid- events.

By now, you're probably wondering what this chick will actually be writing about. Maybe you think it will be about music, since the title -Let's spend the night together- is a song by the Rolling Stones (and splendidly covered by Bowie). If you've managed to think that far, you're almost there. "Let's spend the night together" is also the title of a book written by Pamela Des Barres, who is probably the most notorious groupie. She was an 'original' groupie and a member of the GTO's. She's been with numerous musicians such as the memorable Jim Morrison (The Doors) and Jimmy Page (Led Zeppelin). She is definitely a great inspiration to me. She was one of the first authors who published a book about her intimate relationships with rockstars.

Now that I've explained the background info on the title I'll tell you a bit more about myself and what my intentions are regarding this blog.

As I said before I'm a young girl. Let's say I'm somewhere between the age of 18 and 22 years old. I'm still a student and I go to a university. Like many students I live in the city during the week, so I'm pretty independent (which I like very much). My days consist of classes -which I really, really try to attend, evening dance classes -not many problems attending those, and going out or hanging with friends -love attending those! Many of my friends are musicians and in my free time I absolutely love to attend concerts. Now here comes the interesting part... For some reason I've always been attracted to musicians. Freud-lovers may argue that this is because my father is a musician. That might make sense, but I don't know and I don't really care either. All I know is I love 'em, I love to see bands really rocking out and getting into a groove. I love the smell of their sweat when they really get into it. I love absolutely everything about it. Later on I will share some of the stories about my past meaningful encounters with musicians, starting with the very first -age approximately 10.

Basically what I want to do is keep you posted on my whereabouts and just my thoughts in general regarding the people I meet and the adventures I have when, for example, I'm attending a concert abroad.
So... I hope I made my intentions clear and hopefully some of you will be interested in reading my blog!

Love

Miss Y.