I'm a good liar, in fact I'm a very good liar. But when it comes to love and relationships I just have to tell the truth. Since this case felt so extreme, it turned out to be far too challenging and simply too obvious to keep it all from my boyfriend. Almost immediately when we got home from the concert the whole thing came out. How the conversation had progressed, how L had gotten closer, the things he had said to me,... Though I did let out to mention the details of the kissing... Well, it seemed like I had shared enough. He didn't have to know I was that into it, I wanted as little trouble as possible. He didn't get very angry and did his best to get over it. Little by little all of our friends got to hear what happened and that particular band had become a banned subject among friends whenever my boyfriend was present. It took a while before everyone had forgotten about the whole thing but eventually they did. Once in a while someone would still make a joke about it, and up until this day this still happens. It doesn't bug me, why would it... To be honest I don't have any regrets and above all it turned out to be one of the best things that happened to me so far.
Not telling my boyfriend, I kept in touch with L. About a year after the incident I finally broke up with my boyfriend. The relationship had gotten far to serious and I had felt trapped for over 6 months, always thinking about ways to get out. Of course there's only one way: it ain't pretty, it ain't nice, but no-one should ever postpone it! So after all those months of imagining our break-up I practically had the complete scenario in my head and I knew I had to go crazy.
Meanwhile I had started chatting with L again, and so the story continues... -without a boyfriend this time! L told me he was on promo-tour in Europe and asked me if we could do something together. I was excited as hell! I would actually be celebrating my high school graduation with a rockstar! But -sigh- as he found out about 2 weeks later he wasn't coming to my country after all. He would be in Paris instead. It was a huge disappointment...
Luckily the story ain't over yet!
Apparently, he wanted to see me so badly that he asked me to come to Paris with him. He would take care of all my travel expenses. A free trip to Paris, leaving the day of my very last high school examination... HELL YEAH! This was even better!
The day before my last exam I had trouble concentrating. My mind was completely occupied with L and Paris and eventually I gave up studying. The next morning I took one of the worst exams ever. Fortunately it didn't matter anyway, I still managed to graduate with great honour. And besides, nothing could've ruined my day! I don't think I've ever been so excited in my life. A few hours later I got off the train in Paris -Paris!Paris!Paris! It was a beautiful hot summer's day and I still had a few hours before I would meet L in the hotel lounge. I decided to take a walk in the city. Ecstatic as I was I pranced on the boulevards and I bought a bottle of Libertine absinthe at "la Fée Verte", which was the first specialized absinthe boutique ever.
Around 4p.m. I got to the hotel. I was sitting in the lounge, waiting for L who was doing some interviews somewhere in the city. I was really nervous, it had been quite some time since I had met him at the concert and I was wondering how we would be spending the many hours we had to ourselves. Suddenly they came in: L, the other guitarist and a few other people (probably from some magazine). He took me up to his room where we dropped off our bags. He had to do some more interviews in the hotel so I stayed in the room to rest for a bit. I listened to some music on my iPod and was laying on the bed. He had left some rock magazines on the bed with some articles about him and his band and I checked them out. Being pretty beat from the trip I tried to get some sleep...
*KNOCK KNOCK*
Only a few minutes after closing my eyes I heard someone knocking on the door. Them again, they had to do the rest of the interviews in the hotel room. I didn't mind, I was excited to witness yet another aspect of rockstar-life! One interviewer was really nervous, I felt sorry for him, poor guy, he probably never met one of his idols before... When they were done with all of the responsibilities we left the hotel -"we" being me, L and the other guitarist. We took the subway and after our first stop the other guitarist went his own way to go to his girlfriend, who apparently lived in the city. And thus the moment had arrived, I was finally alone with L again...
We went to see the Eiffel Tower -cheesy right? But I loved it! At that moment I probably wouldn't have mind enduring every cheesy-romantic thing that has been invented. It all felt a bit like a fairytale -oh I just love idealizing this stuff...I really shouldn't though... We lay next to each other on the green grass with some booze to accompany us. And while having a great view of the Eiffel Tower I lit a joint. Mmm, I don't think I'll ever forget that moment. We chatted about lots of things and lay there until it was completely dark. Afterwards we went to some Chinese restaurant and had a nice dinner, though L had numerous remarks about the food. Spoiled rockstars... Even the hotel room wasn't good enough for him! (it happened to be the nicest one I had ever been in...)
We headed back to the hotel and L took a shower while he let me listen to their new album, which wasn't even the finished version. The album wouldn't be in stores for another six months or so. Looking back at that moment it reminds me a lot of a section in Pamela Des Barres' "I'm with the band" when she listens to the new Led Zeppelin album in a hotel room together with Jimmy Page. Just as he had asked her to give some feedback, L asked to do the same and I was happy to do so. I told him I thought there were too many slow fragments in it and that the songs were simply too long. (After a few more listenings back home I had to adjust my opinion and it even became my favorite album). After the listening and my criticism L put on "Thriller" by Fall Out Boy - I don't think I have to tell you that this surprised me, coming from a power metal guitarist - but I really didn't give a damn about what music he put on. After all I still couldn't believe I was laying on a bed in a hotel room in the centre of Paris! L laid himself next to me and we talked some more. Then finally he kissed me. Soft and slow at first, but very nice and as he continued I could feel his warm hands on my body and it all got pretty intense (though there wasn't any penetration involved). The only thing that "bothered" me was that he was circumcised, there was absolutely nothing left to deal with and that seems to be something I tend to miss. Afterwards I pulled myself against him and rested my head on his chest. To my disappointment he just lay there, not putting his arm around be, not playing with my hair nor kissing me softly on the forehead. Just like that I fell back on the ground, bye bye fairytale...
I went to the bathroom to freshen up and put on my red satin nightie with lace on the sides -specially brought for the occasion of course. I thought I might as well make sure I looked pretty, hoping he would still get crazy about me. When I got back he didn't say anything either but I sure liked the look on his face when he noticed my garments. I crawled under the covers and we pretty much just lay there for a while before we fell asleep.
The next morning I woke up with a very bad hangover. I took a shower and we packed our belongings and went to the station where L had to catch his train. He kissed me goodbye, stepped on the escalator and a few seconds later he was gone... I still had an hour or three before my train arrived so I decided to make them count. I went back to the centre and had some breakfast outside a little bistrot. Feeling much better I felt like I could take on the whole world again! I grabbed my map and started my search for Père Lachaise, the well-known cemetery. I really didn't have much time left but I had a mission: I had to see Jim Morrison's grave before I went back home! I really had to hurry and when I finally got there I had just about fifteen minutes to look around, which is really sparse if you consider the size of the cemetery. But I was determined to find it and with The Doors accompanying me on my iPod I finally got there. I could only afford about five minutes of my time so I kneeled down and intensely listened to his music while trying to take all of the sacred place in me. I wouldn't ever want to forget that moment...
When my five minutes were over I hurried back to the railway station to catch my train and go homeward. I felt extremely satisfied and couldn't wait to tell everyone about my magical adventure.
My summer couldn't have begun any better!
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