Mr. X

I've already told you some of the stories of my past. Now I'd like to share a little bit of my present with you.

These past few weeks I've been attending some rehearsals of a new band a few of my friends play in. It's a really groovy reggae/ska band and I really love their sound. It's quite a generation-crossing band, 3 of them are in their 20's and the other 3 are already over 35. One of the latter is the lead singer and guitarist. During the past few weeks we've been chatting and I got to know him a bit better. It didn't take long for me to develop some feelings for him. But unfortunately there's a big catch to this gorgeous 38-year old man... Not only is he married, he has kids as well! Not two things I wish for in a man...

But as it turns out, he hasn't always been faithful to his wife. Although he has broader moral standings, they have a monogamous relationship. I've talked about this with him when he was with me last week. He came to pick me up to go to a concert of a band two of the other band members play in -the two friends I know. He told me his wife wouldn't want to have any sort of open relationship. He therefore reasons it's best for everyone if he slips once in a while and keeps his mouth shut. Not thé best solution if you ask me...

The past two weeks he made it obvious he wouldn't mind getting closer to me. At first my natural reaction was to hold back and just have a talk with him to begin with -which I described above. But this week I came to realize I couldn't stop thinking about him... My feelings started to overrule ratio and I longed for the next rehearsal, which was in fact today.

When I left tonight I felt a bit nervous, I guess you could call it love-sick... While getting off on that marvelous feeling I deeply enjoyed their music. They ended with a groovy reggae jam and I passionately enjoyed S's beautiful guitar solo. After the rehearsal I left with Mr. X and my two friends as usual. He dropped S. and T. off and we drove to my place. I asked him if he'd like to come in for a drink to which he agreed. "One drink". I got us two cold beers, put on some delightful Led Zeppelin and lit some candles to create a pleasant environment. He was laying on my bed and pulled me next to him with his strong hands. We started cuddling and it felt good to be in the arms of a real strong man -the guys I've been with before have always been slightly slender. He uttered silent moans when he pressed me tight against his body. We started kissing -to be honest he's not the best kisser I know but enjoyable nevertheless. I can always appreciate some variation...

We didn't go all the way but according to him I gave him the most miraculous blowjob he ever had. I made him come twice and he was beat. He couldn't stop telling me how good I was and he mentioned he wished I could tell his wife how I did what I did... I have to confess, that was maybe a bit too good for my ego...

We shared the after-sex-cigarette and snuggled for a while. Then he had to leave, he didn't want to be home too late, to beat any suspicion. I wished he could stay longer so I could lie in those strong arms for the rest of the night. But I couldn't blame him for leaving...

I don't know what the future will bring... I wonder if I'll start feeling guilty if this would happen more than once. I wonder if I'll feel more like "the other woman" than a groupie, though I don't think being a groupie to this man really satisfies me. I'm afraid I wouldn't want to share this gorgeous man, except with his wife of course, *sigh...